Gas Station Anecdote

the immigrant fella what sold me my unsuccessful scratch ticket today airly announced he was talking with his girlfriend this morning who is home "visiting Denmark".
He told her the outside temperature of minus six degrees with the wind chill and was told in shocked tones that Copenhagen, on the cold cold Baltic Sea was warmer at the moment.

I drew myself up to my full five foot seven inches and as proud thoroughly national man I told him that if he ever wanted to get her back then he needed to do the American Thing and start lying to his girl friend about the weather.

Unemployment Culture Notes:

For the first time in years I watched the noon news on Channel Five, allegedly the local classy news outfit. Of course, you have to wonder about that notion when you realizes that Newscenter Five's idea of "BREAKING NEWS" (complete with doomsday font) is the announcement that someone named Manny Ramirez was gonna be a week late getting to Red Sox Spring Training.
Good lord that whole "Breaking News" thing out to be trotted out ONLY in the most diresome circumstances, like the President going on a mouthwash bender or Cheney shooting another shyster lawyer.
But Manny Ramirez?...c'mon!
We wish the Sox well at whatever they do, but this is bit too much Freudian identification.

A Co-worker resubscribes to Netflix,

solely on the basis of the availability of a half season's worth of Time Tunnel episodes on DVD.
Fair enough, but of the Irwin Allen classic fantasy series its the weakest entry as evidenced by the fact that it lasted a single season on ABC and has rarely been seen in syndication.
Still and all that my co-worker was airily informed by Netflix that there was a lengthy waiting list for this particular title.

"Capote" (2005) directed by Bennett Miller

Great performance from Philip Seymour Hoffman as the conflicted yet relentless writer trying to turn a murder-massacre into a bestseller. This is a Brando-as-the-Godhfather class start turn in my humble opinion.

William Burroughs once opined that Jack Kerouac the all American boy from Lowell was faally undermined and manipulated by a "spy in his body" called "Jack Kerouac the writer". It is the same with Capote, Truman wants to help accused killer Perry Smith but ultimately he needs to produce a book with an appropriate ending...ergo a hanging. To that end he ruthlessly extracts a nominal confession from Smith and then ignores his pleas for a lawyer to write their commutation appeal to the Supreme Court.
Truman needs an ending, the writer-spy in his body cannot be denied or placated.
I like films that question art & artists in this way...we tend to fall into easy cliches about thr redemptive power of art forgetting that it easily demands wretchedness and duplicity on the road to be a cafe success and the Pulitzer Prize.

See it, Humble john recommends it!

Movies you should NOT rent a week away from Unemployment...

Number One on that list being the Original "On the Beach" starring Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner.
I mean, it is magnificently acted, but mutha of ghod what a downer!

Peck in particular rises to the occasion with aplomb he was always a stellar monolith of a second rater, akin somewhat to that axiom of cinema, Charlton Heston.
here though he is tighty wound, a bit tragic but never maudlin or trite.
hard things to do in my opinion, it would be easy for the acting to undermine the script.
Ava Gardner was great as well, a bit ripe but that only underscores her status as the films' "fallen girl with a heart of gold".
Ava never looked better or put over a tighter case of "wordless persuastion" than when gazing out to seea pensively as the sub beats its way into the sunset and the radioactive winds swirl around her.
Besides you have to love Ava Gardner, anyone who can drive a full time bastard like Frank Sinatra crazy is a woman for the ages.

Ah but there is something about science fiction, it will sometimes liberate the acting process a bit.
My only complaint is that the Australians face the apocalypse with too much reserve, the 2000 remake with Armand Assante at least posited rioting and intense anti-American feeling at the crew of the USS Swordfish.
Anyway avoid this one if you are going on relief....I just sprawled there swilling cheap whiskey thinking to myself Yeah...they are all dying of radiation exposure, but at least they have JOBS!

Not that I wanna start World War Three or Anything...

but if the Danish Caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad are grounds for rioting then what would be the appropriate response to these contemporary cartoons in various Arab Newspapers?

Blasphemy...

God hates me.
Why?
Because, he fears me.

Thanks and a tip of the hat to Channel Zero's redoubtable artist in residence Joseph Zamparelli Jr for that pre-unemployment lament.

Thought for the Day:

Apropos of Last Night's Superbowl, just how much money has Mick Jagger spent on plastic surgery to keep his dessicated scarecrowish frame looking like a fit athletic forty year old?
I mean, if the IMDB is right (And it ALWAYS IS!) his Satanic Majesty is SIXTY TWO years old.

Laid Off Again...

After a mere four months on the job I've been shown the door again in a department wide resource action.
This of course sucks, but at least it will give me more time to blog.
yay.

But if anyone has any good ideas on job opportunities drop me a little note at Zolok@aol.com

Last Night in the President's State of the Union Address

he said the following:
Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research – human cloning in all its forms … creating or implanting embryos for experiments … creating human-animal hybrids …

Damnit! If Congress acts on the President's request, my plan to create a race of Atomic Tigermen will be thwarted!!

What the hell kind of a wishy washy bluenosed nation have we become when a simple country boy with an M.A in Political Science (such as myself) can't pervert the laws of Man and God to Produce vicious human-animal mutants????
It is the Doctor Moreaus, the Lex Luthors, the Doctor Nos who made this nation GREAT and COMPETITIVE!

I urge the congress to PASS on the President's narrow-minded Anti-Atomic Tigermen Proposal!!

Today is that Day of Days....

National Gorilla Suit Day!
Yes indeed that sacred holiday when we all dress up as our simian forebearers and celebrate our Rational-Darwinist Heritage.

For a succinct precis' on this most important of holidays, go here.

Now however this great tradition is under assault from decadent land locked elites and corrupt panderers in Washington DC who explicitly DENY that National Gorilla Suit Day has anything to do with the Precious Laws of Natural Selection!
These anti-evolutionary fanatics want to outlaw the traditional National Gorilla Suit Day Greetings such as: "Man is descended from the Ape!" and "Happy Darwin!"
Frantic bearded spook worshippers like Senator Bill Frist and Liddy Dole are TRYING to take Darwin out the holiday and turn it into some sort of revealed-religion costume pageant devoid of all meaning!!!!
DON'T LET THEM DO IT!
American was founded and made strong by MEN who proudly donned simian costumes on National Gorilla Suit Day and PROCLAIMED the truth of Humanity's origins as a simple terrestrial anthropoid from the African plains!
Let us all adopt gorilla garb for one day a year and join hands all over the U.S. Ape to reaffirm our FAITH in science and old timey rationalism!!

On a Second Viewing of "The Empire Strikes Back"

hadn't seen this bad baby since 1980 or so, surpirsingly it hold up nicely. Mark Hamill's acting hadn't quite tipped over into the "overwhelmed" category and Irwin Kershner's direction manages to gloss over George Lucas's preposterous dialogue and still get everyone's story arc done.
It suddenly hit me that no less than five characters in the film (Yoda, Vader, Chewie, C-3PO & R2D2) are naught but mixtures of costumery, actors/body builders and prime voice over artists. We take this for granted today in "Lord of the Rings" etc, but back then, Lucas made the FX into actors...even if they did have to talk like crude cartoons.
The other big revelation was Yoda's misty eyed description of the "force" could easily substitute for Dr. Wilhelm Reich's crackpot notions about "orgone energy".

Otherwise, the film is a sort of false high in every way, it throws down two or three good meaty revelations, drifts ways from the gee whiz tone of the first film in favor of something darker and sets up a myriad of lofty expectation for the sequel.
None of which Lucas was able to satisfy when it came time to trot out that two hour toy commercial called "Return of the Jedi".
My disaffection was complete back then, and its largely due to the good impression the "Empire Strikes Back" had made on me.

If there is a systemic flaw in Lucas' faux cosmology it is the late revelation that Leia is too, a potential Jedi. For all that her heritage and link to Darth Vader means all but nothing to either the Sith Lord or Young Skywalker as their confrontation unfolds...this seems strange to me.
Frankly it is loose ends like this that make me doubt "Star Wars" was ever this extended super script that Lucas wrote in film school. I think the original film hit it big and George started improvising from then on.

Nuked on a Monday...

or "Emily's Reasons why she Got Cancelled"

Wow! "Emily's Reasons Why Not" a heavily hyped sitcom starring the scrumtious Heather Graham got the ax by ABC after one paltry episode!
This puts Ms. Graham in a very exclusion Cancellation Club that includes such singleton lost causes as Turn On. This was ABC's Tim Conway hosted answer to Rowan and Martin's Laugh In infamous for being cancelled after one broadcast after Heather Graham-ish megahype.
Oh well, 12 million dollars of advertising and ubiquitous signage on the Red Line really can't make you popular after all.

Hey Heather if you are reading this, The Bad Poets Society is in the market for a celebrity reader.
Compensation TBA.

I saw Commander Adama Kissing Colonial President Roslin....

What was he thinking? That she is dying of cancer and this might be his only chance to find out what its like to mack on a superior officer?

Okay so yeah, I watch Battlestar Galactica religiously, what of it?
It is after all, the tightest most complusively watchable space opera to come along since Deep Space Nine. I mean this is akin to "Hill Street Blues" in outer space, ruthlessly realistic, plot driven and heedless of the dopey-ass sci fi tv shibboleths.
Okay so Katee Sackhoff lurches from tears to hysteria in every ep and William Bamber is reedy-sounding....no matter da sumbitch works!
This show is especially pleasing as it vindicates a long held theory of mine, that one shouldn't re-make good teevee shows or movies. For example an update of "The Fugitive" is pointless, a re-make however of something a little forlorn like "Mister Terrific" automatically has possibilities because there is nowhere to go but up!

I may stop watching "Lost" when things finally get too contrived a'la the "X-Files" but I'm hooked on Battlestar Galactica til the last crdits roll.

The Producers (2005)

In a perfect world, Nathan Lane would be leading Hollywood comedy star. He is as funny playing it gay as he is playing it straight.
And dats pretty damn funny.
As it is though, he is the best thing in the above film, loud obnoxious, greedy...and funny.
Sadly though, "The Producers" is a vastly watered down affair compared to the Broadway "original".
Indeed, a lot got thrown out on the way to the multiplex, notably Springtime for Hitler's central theme which is De Fuhrer's notional "victory" in WWII as a consequence of triumphing in a dance contest.
Gary Beach does a great star turn as the gayest-Hitler seen since Derek Jacobi did the Fuhrer...but it pales next to the original's frantic pace.
Will Ferrell is utterly predictable as the Nazi-author and star of the show...Mathew Broderick turns in a curiously robotic performance as Leopold Bloom the nerdy accountant who sets the whole scheme in motion. Uma Thurman as the Swedish love interest does her best, but she just cannot gyrate like the Broadway engenue....hell Lane and Broderick can shake their groove things better!
Well what of it?
From film to Broadway musical back to a film...from Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel to Nathan Lane and Matt Broderick.
Full circle.

King Kong (2005)

Fun movie, could've done with some judicious cuts for timing's sake. There is a fine performance therein from the ubiquitous Jack Black and a real star turn from Naomi Watts as a down on her luck vaudeville comic who falls hard for a thirty foot gorilla.
Adrien Brody though, plays the luckless writer-hero as a sort of Stallone by way of Marc Blitzstein...and his nostils make Kong's look puny by comparison.
Mostly my complaint is that the CGI action scenes are too frantic by half. Years ago the speed standard was set at a fast but human pace by everyone from Harold Lloyd to Bruce Lee. Now when it comes time to make with the dinosaur stampedes everyone moves at a pace considered coherent by an editor slaving over a computer...in other words at an inhuman rate of speed.
As such the dramatic line of the action scenes is lost and we are left with a Dali-esque jumble of imagery.
That my friends has to change.
Still and all that Kong moves like an ape at least, and his mastery of that prehistoric jungle is a function of his brains and more importantly his will to power.
That comes across just fine....he even gets a Shakespearean death scene, far more sentimental and lurid than even the 1933 original.
And what the hell, it beats the hell out of the odious and contemptuous 1976 re-make with Jessica Lange even if it'll never quite eclipse the raw power of it's New Deal namesake.
Now I wonder if Peter Jackson will take destiny in hand and remake "Son of Kong"?
If he does lets hope Junior comes across with a little more dignity even if he stole the show when Skull Island (spoiler) finally sinks.
:)

"Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve: 2006"

On the one hand I was horrified to see Mister Clark with that trademark rictus stumbling through boilerplate teleprompter copy thanks to his ill-timed stroke last year.
On the other hand as unintelligible as he was, I'd rather listen to Dick Clark, stroke and all than his two co-hosts the oily & insincere Ryan Seacrest or his sidekick the robotically bubbly Marysol Castro...to say nothing or their West Coast anchor, the animatronic skeleton currently touring under the name Hilary Duff.

Happy New Year to all.

According to Today's Globe

The Brattle Theatre in Harvard Square has raised 200K off their planned 400K Capital Campaign. They are therefore extending the campaign til' february 28th 2006.
Anyone who wishes to contribute to this cause can just go-here.
If it can possibly be avoided, then the Brattle must be saved...they are alone in mixing repertory titles with off beat new releases with a real zeal for community service.
We will be making a donation ourselves in the name of Channel Zero very shortly.
How about you?
I mean, where else can we see "On Her Majesty's Secret Service", "The Chimes at Midnight" or "Kiss Me Deadly" on the big-indoor screen?
Otherwise, the repertory impulse will be acted upon by the likes of Channel Zero, which while we have potent cost control factors and celerity to our credit, we DON'T have access to an ongoing big screen venue.
See my point, we need the Brattle it is a social and cultural necessity, if it were to close the arts in Metro Boston would suffer an irreparable blow.

Spell Checks and Sacraments

In a certain RC Church nestled in the Hills and Hollows of Arlington Mass, the Advent Missal renders the hymn "The First Noel" as "The First Nowell".
For one brief shining moment I thought Archbishop O'Malley had been forced to lay off his proof-readers in the local religious recession, turns out though "The First Nowell" is a legit Old English form of the title.
Of course, what a local Catholic Church is doin' pretentiously using Old English in its Missal, I'll never know.

"Good Night and Good Luck"

I didn't think much of George Clooney director after "The Confessions of a Dangerous Minds" this biography of veteran TV newsman Edward R. Murrow though, changed my mind.
Avoided is the first mistake of film biography, doing the whole life with relentless speed a'la "Ali".
No instead, we follow Murrow in the lead up and aftermath of a couple of 1953 television broadcasts criticizing Senator Joseph R. McCarthy. Staying on focus with respect to a few key incidents in a man's life is often good film-making IMHO.
David Strahairn impersonates Murrow to perfection, quizzical, ironic a little fatalistic...he knows one way or another the good times of "quality" TV journalism must end sooner or later.
No my only objection to the film is that it assigns a grandiose part to Murrow in McCarthy's fall. True the broadcasts did their part, but Joe was already deep into a suicidal attack on Dwight Eisenhower's Presidency when Murrow jumped ugly on him.
no Mccarthy did himself in, of course his response to Murrow's broadcasts in which he incoherently accuses the newsman of being a Wobbly stands as a sort of sad anti-classic teevee moment.
"Good night and Good Luck" is still lingering at the Lexington Cinema if'n anyone is interested.