Special Announcement: The Bad Poets Society is Returning!!!

YES! Because you demanded it! Back in Boston after a five year hiatus!

Channel Zero and Jimmy Tingle’s Off Broadway Theater Present

The Bad Poets Society!

Mankind’s Worst Poetry from The Age of Shakespeare to the Modern Age!

With Special Guest Reader: Jimmy Tingle!

Poe, Shakespeare, Longfellow. Great Poets are eternal. Alas, none of them will be an appearance anywhere near the Bad Poet’s Society, a loving tribute to the world’s worst verse from the inept poesy of Scotland’s William McGonagall to the lyric dementia of Nick Kenny a poet in love with the US Navy.

Jimmy Tingle, Somerville’s One Man Renaissance will kick off the festivities with his own special reading!

Don’t Miss this Legendary Festival of Inferior Rhymes!

Sunday, September 10th, 7pm
Jimmy Tingle’s Off Broadway Theater
255 Elm Street
Davis Square
Somerville Ma. 02144
617-591-1616
Admission: $10 cheap!!!

Off to the Drive In tonight I think...

"Mys Super Ex-Girlfriend" and "John Tucker Must Die" are on a double bill at the Tri-Town making this, my pick of the week.
The Tri-Town Drive In's vitals can be found by using the handy link on the right.
Sadly I never did get to see "Superman Returns" at the Tri-Town (I dreamt of parking dead center at the eight post dead center in the first row)...but this particular double feature makes up for that nicely.

Scriptwriting stories such as this

just make me cringe

Krypton doesn't explode?
Jor El commits suicide in order to visit Kal El in limbo?
I mean...the mind boggles at the vulgar thoughlessness of each and every successive version of the proposed Superman revival.
Thank Ghod for Bryan Singer thats all I can say...

Heard another good one...

President Ford once paid a visit to Eastport Maine home of the Passamaquoddy Indians. He allegedly asked Tribal Chief Joe if he had any advice for the President of the United States.
Joe allegedly replied: "Watch your immigration policy. We didn't do so well with ours."

I heard a good joke the other day...

An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."
Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

I just blew $16 on books...

Damn, that was tomorrow's lunch money, but they were worth it; "The Reformation" and "The Renaissance" volumes of Will & Ariel Durant's history of western civilization.
Their research holds up a good fifty years later and the writing is pithy and accessible.

Mickey Spillane is Dead....

the heaven's shake.

Ahhhh...but Mickey was a giant in his day, he invented the violence for violence sake's "men's action" genre and made millions from it.
He was also popular literature's most ludicrous anti-communist zealot (at least until the advent of Allen Drury) reaching his zenith in "One Lonely Night" in which detective-visigoth Mike Hammer roars up and down Manhattan island gunning down reds with little or no concern for the so-called Bill of Rights.

Mickey was a former comic book writer and it really really showed in his preposterously arch tough-guy dialogue. In "The By-Pass Control", secret agent protagonist "Tiger Mann" explains to the reader the intricate differences between a "dame" and a "broad".
Howlers like this abound in almost every single book Spillane ever wrote.
However as I said, he made millions at the writing game, bought himself a mansion in the Carolinas, did beer ads and even played his own creation "Mike Hammer" in the cult film "The Girl Hunters"(1963).
Still and all that, Mickey's greatest contribution to popular literature might have been by proxy; the legend goes that Ian Fleming read "I the Jury" on a flight to Jamaica and instantly decided he could write better thrillers than that!
Thus was born James Bond 007, an incomparably better written slaughterer of reds and sundry villains.

Even if the books were laughable, I think Mickey is somehow having the last laugh on us all.

If Aristotle defines happiness as the full use of one's powers along the lines of excellence, then surely, money, mansion and all, Mickey was a happy man.

The Governor was on the TV last night...

looking plainly sweaty and terrified in the wake of the partial collapse of one of the connector tunnels and the death of Milena Del Valle.
But then, he ought to be scared.
He uses those tunnels all the time to zoom off to Iowa and New Hampshire where he does naught but slag and disrespect the Commonwealth.

The Second Best Action Movie This Summer:

the sinecure firmly belongs to Pierre Morel's "B13" a martial arts showcase for "parkour" practioner David Belle. The plot such as it is, is ridiculous, Parisian Bureaucrats in the near future plot to level overcrowded slums with a neutron bomb. Ah but all this is a hook upon which to hang Belle's superlative acrobats and fighting finesse. Alas,"Parkour" is hard to describe it makes free use of the natural space in the hand to hand fighting sequences...to me it comes off as "Jackie Chan played straight" and man oh man does it look GREAT on the big screen. Trust the French to completely upend the martial arts movie genre in one fell swoop.
Honestly I haven't gotten as big a kick out of a martial arts movie since I saw "Armour of God Part II" at the Museum of Fine Arts all those years ago...

Looking forward to more from Belle and his associates, "parkour" has endless potential to reignite a currently moribund genre.

Job Search Note...

It is particularly depressing to see a job for which I interviewed some two months ago now once again being advertised in the Boston Sunday Globe "Help Wanted" section and on Boston.com career's page.
Yup the only thing worse than that, is to see TWO jobs I've interviewed for in the past three months being simultaneously advertised in the Help Wanted section of the Sunday Globe.

The Esplanade Fourth of July Blogged...

Why in God's Holy Name would CBS send a feelgood shitkicker like "Dr. Phil" to MC our annual Boston Pops Concert and fireworks display???
I couldn't care less what this bumptious sumbitch thinks of our pyrotechnics!
Oh he has a high Q-rating, well who cares he is a played out hack liken unto the "big" musical guest Steve Tyler and the mortal remains of Aerosmith.
That having been said, the display itself gets incrementally more spectacular every year despite the network's insistence on starting LATE in order to fill up three hours of traditionally low rated TV time.
Well, what the hell, the Boston Pops never lets us down even if the whole thing has been unmercifully commercialized by the big TV network contract.

Superman Returns (2006) spoilers:

"Superman Returns" is less a movie and more a sort of cinema sacrament what with all the religious imagery director Bryan Singer crams into the scenario. The Man of Steel in classic fallen angel style plummets from the sky not once but twice and adopts a crucifixion pose at one critical moment.
Well what of it?
This is a film over fifteen years in the making with dozens of appalling scripts and demented casting ideas on its rapsheet (Nicholas Cage as Superman anyone?)...These worshipful vignettes are a sort of benign pay off to the serious Superman fans who have suffered much anxiety on the road to the Multiplex this weekend.
So let me say this, it is a good film, at times a great film, Brandon Routh is a superlative Superman who can but get better with time, Kate Bosworth is a fine Lois Lane and Kevin Spacey's Luthor is ruthless and evil sans recourse to camp.
The film's real strength though is an internally consistent script, the dirty secret of the 1978 movie is that the screenplay was a horrific mess held together by Chris Reeve, Margot Kidder and director Donner's common desire to stave off the descent into pure Adam Westian farce.
This time some thought has gone into the scenario, the film takes up five years after the events of "Superman II", Kal El has left Earth for mysterious reasons of his own and come back to discover Lois Lane is now a single mom and world has forgotten him.
Public approval being Superman's real source of energy, Big Blue goes to work stopping crimes, saving people and reminding all and sundry of his overall ubiquity & usefulness.
As Superman recovers his street cred, Lex Luthor has quietly heisted some Kryptonian crystals out of Superman's Fortress of Solitude and is conjuring with creating his own pseudo-continents.
Yup you have that right, for some reasons even after twenty eight years, the writers can't come up with a better master plan for the mad scientist than yet another sci fi real estate swindle.
oh well...no film is perfect.

Clark Kent meanwhile is heartbroken to see that Lois is engaged and utterly disdainful of her prior fling with the Last Son of Krypton.
Or is she?
Because lets face it, Lois can no more drop Big Blue than peanut butter can ditch wonder bread...Its fated that the world's most dysfunctional couple will hook up once again just prior to all hell breakin' loose.
***
The flying sequences are amazing in this film, Bryan Singer really got value for that $204M price tag.
The action set pieces move the plot forward at a good clip and support the emotional sub-plot nicely. Singer has called this one "a sort of chick flick" to the extent that Superman is trying to recover his humanity and put his Kryptonian heritage in context...That's the high concept in a nutshell.
Much is being made of Brandon Routh's superficial resemblance to the late Chris Reeve. They look a bit a like, but while Reeve was an actor with a nigh beatific smile (and a face that could cloud over in an instant in wonderfully dark ways, check out Superman III to see this), Routh has these tragic eyes and a good "I-mean-it" squint to back things up.
***
The film's most intriguing issue lies in Jason, Lois Lane's five year old son who adds little to the plot other than to illustrate the notion that the reporter has "moved on" in Superman's absence.
Well, other than the fact that his is Kal El's son from Lois and Superman's brief fling in "Superman II" a point that is a sort of open secret with the aud til the very end.
Given the fact the kid has little to do in the film other than get kidnapped by Luthor one wonders why he is included in the scenario at all?
I suspect Jason exists to prompt a marriage proposal from Clark in the inevitable sequel...Otherwise Superman is a very absent dad and that might be a bit much for today's audience.
After all, Lois & Clark are married in the comics and a wedding does make a good sub-plot for a sequel.

And believe me, there will be a sequel.

Today Marks the 130th Anniversary of the Battle of the Little Big Horn

Custer's storied defeat at the hands of the Lakota Souix out in the Dakotas.
We do love our epics of defeat here in the West, from Thermopylae to Waterloo down thru the Seventh Cavalry's sabres glittering in the sun on the bluffs above the Little Big Horn.
Custer has had strong popularity in multimedia as well...from Thomas Ince's 1912 film "The Death of Custer" down to "Little Big Man".
The weirdest film incarnation of the boy general is still under the tutelage of dependable Hollywood hack Sidney Salkow who directed not one but two "pro Indian" westerns about the Little Big Horn. "Sitting Bull" (1956) with J. Carroll Naish in redface as the mighty medicine man and "The Great Souix Massacre" (1965) featured red haired Darren "Kolchak the Night Stalker" McGavin as the only honest man in Custer's command. Both were about as historically accurate as a Ned Buntline dime novel and both suffered from an excess of naivete' about the position of Native Americans in the modern USA.
But what the hell, they are an attempt to break with past proactice no matter how silly or bumptious they may be.

Error in today's Sunday Globe Arts Pages...

therein it is asserted that Shakespeare & Co NEVER staged "Hamlet" in its long residence in Lenox Ma. That is a clear mis-statement, I myself saw Shakespeare & Co put on "Hamlet" in the Stables Theater back when they were at the Wharton Estate. It was an a stripped down version for the High School circuit, but trust me, S & C did Hamlet fer sherr.

The Seer Zamparelli

Had lunch with Joe Zamparelli (Channel Zero's long suffering artist in residence) on Friday. He airily predicted that the Belmont Stakes would descend so deep into maudlin sentimentality that a live remote would depict the injured thoroughbred Barbaro in his stall at the Equine Hospital "watching" the race on TV.
Sure enough in the interminable lead up to yesterday's race we were treated to a live remote of a portable TV set up in Barbaro's stall so that the mighty horse could "watch the race".

Now if only Joe could get back to me with those damned powerball numbers.

Kathy Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" returns to Bravo this week...

How much d'ye suppose she charges to withold certain celebrity names from her stand up act?
Okay that was harsh speculation and I have no proof of the practice...but when you wallow in raw gossip hush money usually follows as night follows day.

X-Men 3: The Last Stand

Am I the only person in the world who thinks Sir Ian McKellen looks like a horse's patoot in that cockamammie helmet he wears as "Magneto"?

With the reliability of an unloved season we have laid at our feet yet another X-sequel which delves into a paranoid US Government's attempts to forcibly "cure" the mutant population, the resurrection of Famke Janssen's Jean Grey character and the usual show down between Magneto's evil mutants and Patrick Stewart's posse of good guys aka "The X-Men".
Got all that?
The film is otherwise a bit of a shuck and jive, James Marsden's performance as the tormented Cyclops amounts to a ten minute cameo, Janssen has about two lines of dialogue in the whole film and as usual Patrick Stewart's "Professor X" vanishes out of the plotline at the forty five minute mark.
Apparently the scriptwriters for X-3 had the same problem as the creative team for the previous films, they inevitably write Stewart out of the action because his character is a omnipotent telepath whose powers ought to be able to thwart any opponents attempts at subterfuge.
In practice this makes Professor X seem to be the most powerful and yet useless superhero in modern cinema history.
This being the case most of the film is carried by the histrionics of Sir Ian McKellen (who chews the scenery like a starving man) along with Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry who are starting to look really really bored with all this x-mishaugas.
And why shouldn't they?
The script simply recycles most of the last two film's pay off scenes loaded up with even more leaden dialogue....I mean no wonder Famke Janssen looks so confused and dishearted.
Much as I jab at the X-Men (they aren't my favorite superheroes overhyped and overexposed as far as I'm concerned) it is at the core an uncommonly well-cast franchise...all the actors are talented enough for the particular creative challenge of a big comic book based film.
So it annoys me to no end when the producers, writers & director end up making such a dreary unremarkable film.
But this being a big summer for super heroes the film will no doubt make millions but its a sad creative comedown and shrill bore overall.

Isn't Superman an Illegal Alien?

I mean think about it.
He has no passport, no green card plus his foster parents clearly lied repeatedly and possibly under oath to secure his adoption as a baby.
Am I alone in thinking under the rules being proposed (nay bellowed) by Representative Tancredo and his ilk in congress Kal El is deserving of nothing but deportation back to Krypton's star system?

Now maybe if he admits to any crimes committed on US soil, pays back taxes, is willing to leave the country and re-enter at the back of the line (Behind such other heroic wetbacks as Hawkman, Hawkwoman, Martian Manhunter and Wonder Woman) THEN we can let him back in.
Anyway he has been stealing work for native born heroes for years, I think the House of Representatives should investigate WHY Warner Brothers and DC Comics are CELEBRATING this illegal immigrant as a paragon of virtue.

Poor Barbaro!!!

Broke his leg out of the gate at the Preakness now his life hangs in the balance. That was an awful thing to see last weekend. Currently there seems to be some post operative optimism out there but not much. Barbaro's career as a racer is over hopefully they can save his life for the stud farm.
This situation pains me as I've always regarded horse racing as reasonable family entertainment despite the gambling and chintzy atmosphere. Kids can grasp who wins and who loses easily and the excitement is fairly wholesome.
Well...except when one of the horses comes up injured like that...then the whole thing takes on a sad morbid cast.
I once saw a horse euthanized at Suffolk Downs, its a humane procedure but utterly sobering in every way.

So here is to Barbaro!

I hope & prey he can survive this thing.

Dr. Who (Sci Fi Friday nights 9 pm) just keeps getting better and better

Christopher Eccleston is at the top of his game and Billie Piper in particular seems destined for membership in a very exclusive club of supporting actors who keep stealing the big show.
In the ultra-chic TV Sci Fi Division this would include such luminaries as Jonathan Harris,Jan Merlin (Tom Corbett Space Cadet, look it up kids), Leonard Nimoy, Julie Newmar and Allyson Hannigan.
A merry collection of players indeed.