Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Channel Zero Lives!

Channel Zero Proudly Presents:

"Hill 24 Doesn't Answer!" (1955)

Directed by Thorold Dickinson

A rag tag collection of I.D.F. soldiers tenaciously hold
onto their embattled position during the 1948 Israeli War
for Independence.

At the Birth of a New Nation, a heroic last stand!
Starring Edward Mulhare - Michael Wager - Margalit Oved

Israel's First War Film, Unseen in Boston in Fifty Years!
One of the best foreign films You've Never Heard Of!
Trust us, you won't be seeing this one on Cable Any Time

8pm Wednesday October 13th
The Somerville Theater
Screening Room
Admission $8 (cheap!)
55 Davis Square, Somerville Ma

Just try and find our fan page on Facebook!
Channel Zero, Boston’s Cheapest Entertainment Franchise
now in it’s fifteenth year of genteel video transcendence.

Monday, September 20, 2010

"The Town" (2010) Directed by Ben Affleck

Did everyone in Greater Boston manage to see this movie this weekend? It is all anyone can talk about at the moment...me, I saw it at the Drive In, now more than ever one must be true to First Priciples.
Y'know, Ben Affleck, is maybe one movie away from turning Boston into a specific geographic actor in the way that Monument Valley was key supporting player in all of John Ford's movies.
And this is a key point to remember as between this and "Gone Baby Gone" I'm beginning to think that only Affleck can direct Affleck with any real success...And maybe we can see a day when he'll abandon acting entirely and "Orsonize" himself.
Mind you, the film is nothing new, Ben heads up a gang of Charlestownie bank robbers, he has the bad luck to fall for one of his victims and the whole "twilight of the criminal ghods" mishaugas plays out to it's inevitable conclusion.
Given that, I'm beginning to think that there are only four gangster movie templates, "White Heat", "On the Waterfront" and "The Godfather Parts I & II".
Here, Affleck is in pure "On the Waterfront" mode, the classy dame, the brutish guy, the evil boss man, the ambivalence about his "line of work" it is all there. But for all that, it is a smartly written script boosted by a impossibly tight cast, this is the best heist movie I've seen in years one great scene after another...who knew that anyone could extract a great chase scene in the rabbit warren that is the North End?
And Affleck throws in a subtle indictment of the whole culture of off duty "police details" to top the whole dealio...I mean what could be better?
In fact, I'm wondering why the BPD hasn't picketed this film? They look like useless mooks next to the relentless and ruthless F.B.I.
Anyway...pickets or no pickets, this is a "believe the hype" movie experience...
And Ben Affleck?
I think he can put "Daredevil" behind him finally

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Piranha 3d is

THE BEST film I've seen all summer!!!


Boston is a Utopia for College Students, it is just bracing and invigorating to see a film where the flower of America's Gilded Collegiate Youth are sent violently to the bottom of the foodchain by a school of carnivorous prehistoric piranha fish in 3-D!!
If that isn't Hall of Fame American film-making then what the hell is???
My only regret is that I didn't see this at the now defunct Tri Town Drive in...Front row, eighth pole...The sublime parking spot doncha know?
Elizabeth Shue (remember her?), Jerry O'Connell, Dina Meyer are all in it as well as uick cash and dash cameo from Richard Dreyfuss...But it's the "piranhasaurus rex" that even the score for every Bostonian that has ever had to compete with some undergrad for parking on a Friday Night...

Meanwhile the rumors are TRUE, Channel Zero will be returning to the Somerville Theater very very soon, stay tuned for details!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

So I bought a new Ford...

(cuz I'm olde fashioned dat way) and it comes with six months of free Sirius Satellite radio.
So after two days of fooling around with the gadget I finally found "Howard Stern One Hundred" a round the clock all Stern all the damn time audio channel dedicated to the proposition that Too Much of a Good Thing can be Endured...
And sure enough, I clicked on it and Howard was whining and bitching about his awful employers and threatening to desert to terrestrial radio, his own private space station or the internet (with all the other podcasts that were gonna make their creator millions).
Which is exactly where I left off with the guy back in 2005 when he outran the FCC to the safety of Satellite Radio...
Somethings never ever change I guess.
But the real revelation is...Playboy Satellite Radio!!
Twenty Four hours of bimbos yammering on and on about the contents of their lady spaces and the singular lack of content between their ears...They run the gamut between cooing suggestively to blustery oral pornography and back again.
I hate to say it, but I shamelessly listen all the time, it is unintentionally hilarious on every level, pornstars with opinions and then we get the details of those opinions and the laughter can begin.
Bondage dos and don'ts?
Adult baby call-ins?
Pornstar etiquette?
And the list goes on...
Hugh Hefner is a genius to put Henry Ford to shame, he has built a high tech Asylum for the Criminally Inane and made good money off of it!